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Some good dating/approaching tips that can be used whether you are male or female (interested in either gender). Trust me, it’s the simple things that make the biggest difference.

Observe something – This will help you get a conversation started. Otherwise, your opening line is going to come off as fake and unnatural. If you’re at a grocery store for example, ask her if she would recommend the turkey/wine/pasta that she’s getting. Or compliment her on something (her eyes/dress etc.)

Smile – Stay relaxed. A frown is going to make you come off as grumpy or unfriendly. A smile will make everyone a little more comfortable (as long as it’s not a Chestshire cat smile)

Do not hesitate – When you’re walking up and you hesitate, it comes off as nerves. Mind you, nerves are okay but not when you’re approaching someone. You’ll look overly timid.

Positive body language – Keep this in mind for yourself and her (or him). Keep your arms and body relaxed. Keep your arms uncrossed. Crossed arms give a subconscious message of discomfort and a desire to shut the other person out (Not a good thing). Just relax.

Not too fast – If you approach like a cheetah after a gazelle, her (or his) internal alarm mechanism will go off. Go at a normal pace, it will seem natural and not creepy. The last thing you want is to scare them off.

Keep eye contact – This will keep the person engaged and interested in the conversation. Keep your eyes off the floor, no one likes talking to someones head instead of their face. If you’re talking with a woman, this will keep your eyes from wandering and possibly offending her.

Listen up – People love when you pull details from what their saying into your part of the conversation. It will make them feel valued and important (and interested in what you have to say too).

Do not fidget – This is an outlet for your nerves. It will also make you come across as either ADD or uncomfortable. Learn to be aware of your movements and try to keep them in check. You don’t want to be a statue but you also don’t want to be bouncing off the walls.

Lighten your tone of voice – A first meeting is not a good place to get serious. Keep it light and fun. Another grocery store example: If she’s getting some turkey or something, you can engage her with “I hope you plan on saving some for me!” Always playful, fake-serious and fun. Never brooding, overbearing, or serious.

Lean awayThis is especially important if you’re tall. Leaning into someone can often make them feel confined and crowded. This discomfort will cause the person to start shutting you out and labeling you as a threat. Lean away, it also tells her (or him) that you respect their personal space.

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